Once upon a time, which happened to be this morning, in the very place where Christopher Colombus´ boat should have plunged off the edge of the earth, my husband and I stood in a Shadow of Magic. This Magic Shadow was cast by a tall-as-the-sky, crystalline blue velvet skirt of ice belonging to God Herself.
The hem of this skirt must be heavy and cold as it has beencarelessly submerged in the icy water below. Stretching as far as the eye can see, the folds of the icy fabric are flowing and alive, moving over two meters per day! The skirt, which some rather imaginationless people call The Porito Moreno Glacier, is one of the world’s last advancing glaciers (see The Inconvenient Truth to find out why). Standing in front of this Argentinean wonder is a complete audio-visual extravaganza, which truly warrants the use of the word Awesome in the National Geographic deep voice-over sense. The spell engulfs you with the constant sound of crackling like BIG kindling snapping under a giant’s foot. Then a series of impossibly loud gunshots begin over the melody of the Big crackling. And every few minutes a rumbling thunder reverberates through the entire frozen valley. Keeping time with this deafening concerto are the massive pieces of ice, the size of a house or a grocery store, which tumble and collapse into the water below. The skirt must be too hot, the layers must come off. The magic spell here is so powerful that all of the miniature people below are left without words on their lips, just words on their hearts; promising to themselves that they will try to do just a little bit better job of taking care of Mother Nature, her wardrobe and this place we call earth.
Now, just in case you don’t have Mapquest, here are directions on getting here from Goa India...
Step 1. GET ON A FLIGHT... OR SEVEN
Santiago Chile is, amazingly enough, is only a quick hop, jump and seven flight skip (including three consecutive red eyes) from Goa, India. Practically neighbors!
Luckily, the Travel Gods were smiling down on us and we end up at a gorgeous old colonial mansion, which has been turned into a youth hostel. Casa Roja is in the Barrio Brazil and boasts 15ft ceilings, heavy wood doors and a gorgeous bathroom. Me gusta Chile! We sleep for 17 hours before emerging into the daylight. After the colorful chaos of India, the quiet order of the city is jarring. Everything is immaculate, shining and tranquillo tranquillo! The empanadas are hot, the air is cool, the wine is delicious and Angelo is getting re-acquainted with his español.
Chileans are conservative and well-mannered people who eat late, sleep late and take good care of the backpackers coming through. The travel infrastructure here is amazing and if you speak some Spanish you will have no trouble getting around. After a couple of days, we decide that Santiago is lovely and civilized but despite the outdoor café-lined Santa Lucia area, we agree that the city lacks the chutzpah and flare of some of the other South American cities that we love. But then again, people don’t come from all over the world to hang out in Chile’s cities. And when nature calls...
Step 2. GET ON A MINIBUS FOR THE 5 DAY TRIP SOUTH
When nature calls you figure out the best way to get to it ASAP. Our preferred method was to hop on a rowdy minibus called Pachamama (earth mother). For the next five days Angelo and I will travel with our 12 new AussieBritishCanadianAmerican friends and one Pisco Sour loving 22-year-old Chilean guide. We bounce, wind and cruise through the absolutely stunning countryside rockin´out to the deafening soundtrack of ACDC, Led Zepplin and Chili Peppers. The trip involves a lot of Pisco, bottles of local Austral beer and the kind of wine that comes in a box. This ain´t no stinkin´golden group essay!
Our first stop is in a charming beach town called Pichelmu. Its jagged rocks and cold water remind us of San Francisco but the surf is up, the barbeque is on and the black sand beaches are gorgeous. Some of the hostels we are staying in do not have private rooms so our executive backpacker privileges have been suspended for the time being. Having roommates in a dorm is pretty funny though at our age "hola strange girl in your underwear sleeping in the bunk underneath my husband! Mind putting some pants on?" Or me being woken by a young German guy named martin in the bed next to me talking in his sleep. "Gutten Morgen Herr Shmidt!"
Next stop, the mountain town of Pucon which rivals any Vail or Breckenridge in posh restaurants, hotels and shopping. Our day here would be one of the highlights of the trip for both of us (Unfortunately we were not together. Coincidence?) Angelo decides to rent some crampons, snow pants and an ice pick and climb a nearby active volcano (which glows red at night) with half the group. The hike sounded tough but once they hit the summit they got to go back down the fun way. They slid down the entire volcano on their backsides using only the ice picks to slow them down! Wicked fun.
The other half of us spent the morning getting our wet suits on and white water rafting through the spectacular scenery. The glacier water was cold and turquoise, the sun was out, the rapids were big and team Colorado (me) represented. It was great to be bombing down the rapids hearing "EEEE Stop! Si y backworddd! EEEE harder! SI PADDLE POR FAVOR! PADDLE!" I think I grinned the entire time. The session ended with cookies and pisco sours- perfecto!
Later that afternoon my new Australian friend, Lissie and I went horseback riding. What a treat, to be able to ride these gorgeous animals through the Andes. Our Antonio Banderas look-alike caballero (he didn’t cost extra, but he should have!) let us gallop, canter and trot (ouch!) past valleys, panoramic vistas, waterfalls and glacial lakes. Muy lindo! Later that night we all met up, watched the sun set over a few drinks and talked about whose day was better.
The last town with Pachamamma was Villarica where we stopped at the market and made a huge group dinner in the hostel kitchen. Angelo got some guitar time in and they even had an American football game on ESPN! It was pretty entertaining watching Angelo try to “esplain the finer points of the game” to all the foreign people in the room wishing he would change the channel. (Which of course, he did not.)
Step 3. NEXT, TAKE TWO MORE FLIGHTS
After 5 days with our new amigos we said adios and got on a flight to the southern part of Chile- otherwise known as Patagonia. And dang it- Its COLD down here!
Step 4. GET ON A BUS
Step 5. RENT A CAR AND DRIVE THROUGH THE OFFICIAL MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
Finally, we get our 4x4 (they didn’t have anything more eco-friendly) and head into the world famous Torres Del Pines national park for a week of off-roading, camping, hiking and general outdoorsy fun. Our campsite is breathtaking- partly because it is arcticly cold but mostly because we are perched on the bank of a fluorescently blue glacier lake staring at the rugged range of Los Cuernos (which translates to the Horns).
Step 6. PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER FOR A LONG LONG TIME
For true lovers of the outdoors, I doubt there is much that can rival the splendor of Patagonia. Straddling Chile and Argentina, we have to cross over the border several times to see everything we came to see. Darwin’s playground may be a logistical nightmare to get to but it really is beautiful beyond words. And the hiking here is absolutely extraordinary- as is the pain in the entire lower half of my body. After a few nights of thin camping mattresses and gale force winds I am ready to get back to civilization. Fearing I will spend eternity smelling like a Slim Jim (campfire smoke), I now need to find a hot shower and a washing machine. A nice glass of Malbec won´t hurt either!
On the way back from the glacier to civilization we happen upon a real Chilean rodeo. The riders, in their famous hats and ponchos are quite a site entering the old wooden ring one by one ready to rope, ride and win. We are thrilled to stumble unsuspectingly upon such a rich and authentic age-old tradition. The fin de la terre has been a generous and gracious host to us. We are most privileged.
Step 7. AFTER THAT TAKE A 14 HOUR DRIVE, A BUS, 3 FLIGHTS, ANOTHER RENTAL CAR AND DARN IT IF YOU’RE NOT ALREADY IN MENDOZA!
Next, we’re headed to Mendoza, Argentina for some wine tasting and finally on to meet Angelo’s family and my brother in our last stop. Bolivia…
Muchos Bessos!
Jenna y Angelo